You Love Her, But You’re Afraid

It’s all happened to us, a heartbreak.

I experienced it, when I was a freshman in college. I wonder if that was love, because I was only 16 that time, but for me, it was it.

It was great falling in love for the first time. You experienced the warmth and deep affection you had never felt before. You have yet experienced hurt, there were no boundaries nor walls. All you did was to express your intense and extreme love to her, which was happiness.

Afterwards, inevitable things happened. You fought hard to make things back together, but it didn’t.

I was still 16 back then, when heartbreak unveiled itself upon my existence. I found myself waking up in the middle of the night, with tears flowing my eyes, realizing things aren’t like before and that we can’t be together anymore. Those were the most agonizing moments of my life. Oh, what a first love!

I know you felt it, too. Maybe I do not understand the story of yours, but I know you experienced it. It was painful, right?

Those upset and bitter times of yours built your inner-self the boundaries that you think will protect yourself in the future. You made walls because you do not want to experience the heartbreak you encountered before. You made boundaries so you can impede yourself from giving trust and faith to a person who do not truthfully deserve it.

All of it, for the purpose of protecting yourself from pain.

And then, here’s a new person coming in your life. You tried to stop it but still, you fell in love with her. Later on, the boundaries and walls you built a long time ago are currently preventing you from truly expressing your love to her.

Those walls and boundaries are now revealing themselves before you,

What if she’s as same as the one you’ve fallen in love years ago?

What if she’s not the right one?

What if now is not the right time?

What if I get hurt again?

I was an example of this one. I’ve experienced relationship full of boundaries and walls which held back my feelings and emotions. I must tell you, those ruined the relationship itself. It was not fulfilling.

If this is happening to you, if you are being guided by the unhealthy boundaries you made from your past painful experiences,

let yourself fall in love with that person. Let go of the necessity to hold back your feelings and emotions. Let go of the boundaries and walls along with doubts, fears, and uncertainties.


Because in that way one can ONLY experience love.

Holding back feelings and emotions manifests fear of experiencing the pain felt before. But to express and receive love wholly, one must take full risks and must go full bets. It is like a gamble.

You can’t truly experience the magnificent feeling of being in love if you play it safely. And because you play it partly, means you will receive it partly, too.

Be authentic about your feelings because it is being authentic to you. Express it. It is not fulfilling being a slave by always holding back your emotions just because you don’t want to experience what you’ve experienced during your heartbreak.

Do not be afraid to fall in love again.

It is amazing to fall in love and it is happening to you naturally. We all have one life and the best thing we can do to live it fully and happily is to experience LOVE. It is the greatest feeling we can ever experience.

Why prevent yourself? Why go against the flow of feelings and emotions that are naturally flowing in your body?

This doesn’t necessarily mean to not consider your rational mind, but if when time comes to choose between to let yourself love or not, let yourself be in love.

It’s easier said than done as it craves courage and braveness. But all can do it.

However, one thing I know for sure.

You may fail and get hurt again. You may experience, again, the heartbreak you felt from your first love. It will be sad. It may be devastating.

But you will stand up again, and again, and again.

That is LOVE! Love is a duality of pain and pleasure. The latter can’t exists without the former. If you think you will be happy all the times without getting hurt, you have false identification of love.

On the other hand, if you’re incessantly being true with your feelings and emotions, I guarantee,

“the right person will come and will accept your love fully and exceptionally.”

I guarantee that that moment will be your best love experience because it’s specifically designed for you after countless times you’ve been hurt.

I guarantee that that moment will be your best love experience because you are completely stronger, wiser, and bolder, as you managed to still back up through innumerable tough times.

Let yourself fall in love.

If you are having doubts and fears because of your unhealthy boundaries, let go of those.

For letting go of them means you will accept and receive the things as they are in the present moment, without judgments and biases from the past. For letting go of them means you will perceive the person you love as truly as who they are, without discernment from the past. For letting go of them means you will be stronger to take responsibility of your actions, without fear of the future. For letting go of them means you will be real for yourself as you express your feelings and emotions, without holding them back.

Let yourself experience the magic love brings.

It is better to love then lost, than not experience love at all.

It is better to fight for your love, than regret in the future.

It is better to say, “Okay! Well, I think that’s it! I’ve done my best!” than to be hunted by “WHAT IFS”

It is better to let yourself fall and face the consequences, than wondering forever what will be the consequences.

We got one life. Is it better to live it safe?

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