Did you experience the moment when you can’t identify the reasons behind the seemingly-insurmountable sadness in your life? You know you are sad, you know you are in pain, but you cannot understand why you’re having such feeling. You know there is a void, but you do not know what to do to fill that void. Have you experienced that? Or perhaps you’re experiencing it at this very point of moment.
I’ve dealt with great sadness many times in my life. Waking up in the middle of the night with tears in my eyes because of the heaviness and burden from the unknown has been my experience for a long period of time. I still somehow experience sadness, but associating it as normal and necessary experience gives us an enormous power to cope with it.
If you are dealing with sadness right now, I just want to say that I understand you. I understand that making an initiative to make things better for yourself is a difficult thing to do. I understand that maybe now you have no idea how or where to start moving. I understand that the world you’re currently living with seems like hopeless full of unknowingness and uncertainty. It is hard, I understand.
I am here to inform you that it is okay.
It is alright if you’re dealing with sadness. It is good and not really a problem at all, my friend. I’m glad that you experience the feeling of being sad. Be thankful as you deal with it. Why?
Because in that way you can only appreciate happiness.
Life will always be comprised of duality. It has ups and downs, light and dark, happiness and sadness, and pain and pleasure. Sadness will not reside forever in your life.
Time will come, eventually, when happiness will unveil itself upon you and when it comes, you will appreciate it deeper because you know what it feels like to be sad.
And by the way, no matter how hard we try, living forever with happiness only is absolutely impossible. Even Jesus, who brought wisdom in humanity, experienced a tremendous sadness from the betrayal of one of his disciples. Experiencing sadness means experiencing life, too. Life is not about solely living in happiness nor solely living in sadness. In contrast, it is about being comfortable and open with both of them.
Again, it is okay to experience sadness.
If there is no sadness, how can you identify happiness as a good feeling? If there is no failure, how can you identify success as a great achievement? If there is no pain, how can you identify the feeling of pleasure? If there is no death, how can you appreciate the years remaining in your life? It is life and it will always be that way.
For a human being to possess a meaningful life requires him to willingly-accept and fully-surrender himself to the waves of different experiences it gives to him, regardless of how good or bad it is.
Do not put yourself the pressure of being sad.
Instead, acknowledge it, feel it, and embrace it. I’ve talked about it on failure which was the focus of my previous blog.
Embracing sadness takes away the resistance within your heart which is the main hurdle in cultivating happiness in your life. What resist persists, they say. If you resist what you are truly feeling, it will haunt you at your deepest core. And you will carry it for a long period of time that will definitely affect how you treat your future experiences. Just like a teenager who is afraid to love anymore because of the pain she kept holding from her past romantic experiences.
When you notice yourself in a sad state and you cannot identify the roots of it, close your eyes. Meditate by inhaling and exhaling deeply for a few minutes. While doing this, make sure to acknowledge and feel the sadness within you. After this meditation, express your feeling through crying, dancing, or shouting inside your room. Just let yourself be yourself. Be you. Think no one is watching you while you are doing these things. After these, observe the great amount of energy you have, a positive energy that will give you a realization of two things, a) sadness comes and goes away and b) you have the power to take action to get away from sadness.
And that’s it. Sadness is truly part of life. Just remind ourselves that the rainbow only comes after the rain.