Self-development

The 2 Things to Leave Behind 2018

I know you already had some kind of reflection or realization about the decisions and choices you have made in the year 2018. I understand, also, that by now, you have a plan on how you will approach this incoming year. 

Those plans can be a creation of a new habit, year goals, bucket list, place to travel, or material thing to buy. Whatever those plans are, they all boil down into one purpose: to have a better and productive year. 

However, to have a better and productive year does not only require us to fulfil the plans we have set for ourselves, but also to let go of the things that hold us back from moving in the direction we want. 

In a marathon, it is arduous to reach the finish line when you’re carrying a few heavy bags that slow down your running pace. Those bags can be the following:

1. Unhealthy relationships

To simplify, unhealthy relationships are those personal connections of an individual – whether a relative, family member, co-worker, etc – that continually provide him an intense negative feeling and emotion. And as truly as it is, our feelings and emotions dictate how well or miserable our life will be. 

Therefore, if we are aiming to be a better person this year, it is critical to take control our feelings and emotions and part of that is by identifying those unhealthy relationships and letting them go in a simple and proper manner.  

Nothing unethical nor immorality can be found in choosing yourself over relationships that no longer serve you. 

How can you expect yourself to be happy when you are being surrounded by people who are constantly putting you down? How can you expect yourself to be better when you are surrounded by people who are pessimistic, defeatist, and apathetic?

I have a friend who was working previously in a company where political and emotional events, which is to say, subjectivity and non-professionalism, strongly exist. She had a terrific boss who was making decisions that promote non-importance against her employees. Resignation, as her last option, was gruelling as it is her first job. Additionally, staying in a company for only a few months may credit her as non-reliable or easy-to-give-up employee.  

She tried to stay longer, but eventually, decided to choose the other side: resignation and finding a new job. Now, she is working in a company where she feels deeply valuable and important. She chose to leave, and now in a better situation. Had he stayed in her previous company for a long time, she won’t be able to find a better boss and environment where professionalism and love occur. 

2. The past

As a human, we all have past experiences associated with negative emotions. And those experiences can live for months or even years as they are strenuous to make peace with. What is happening here is that we are resisting those feelings and by carrying it for a long time, can negatively affect how we approach our present and future circumstances. I talked about it on my blog entitled – Dealing with Unknown Sadness.  

A new year might be the best time to let go of those negative feelings so we can provide room for the good ones. Let go of the heartache from our previous relationship, hate from our previous co-employee, displeasure to one of our loved ones, bitterness to our previous decisions, whatever feelings associated as negative. For letting go of them means creating space for love, hope, and happiness. 

I understand, it is extremely tough to let go, but we will just hurt ourselves if we continue living with them. If you think you truly cannot give acceptance from the past, it may be because the pain it is giving to you is still fresh.

Do not be concerned, time can help. 

Meditations, crying out, talking with a friend, or even dancing, can be a great tool to fasten the process of letting go. Performing them lets out the unexpressed, hidden, negative energy we are resisting. Try it, I guarantee that they truly help. 

A new year is coming, let us all welcome it with love and acceptance. I actually believe that everyday is survival, everyday there are people surrendering and giving up, but we are so blessed that we have made it a year. That’s enough to celebrate on!

I did not include the things like “self-destructive behaviors”, “negative thinking”,  or “addiction” because I certainly believe that they all root down from the two things mentioned above. I tried to stop some self-destructive behaviors of mine, but I could not because the addiction itself is not truly a problem, but the pain that lies beneath them. 

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