It’s fascinating to look at your batch mates enjoying their precious time with their loved ones, with their relationships. Some of my friends even started making their own family. As a proudest friend of them all, I won’t deny that getting into a relationship did not ever cross my mind.
Because as you know, it is nice to fall in love. Isn’t it? How lovely it is to experience the feeling of being loved, of being understood, of being taken care of. Being inlove is truly magnificent because you feel a deep, romantic connection with other human being. And I have a strong affirmation to what most people say, that love (and being loved back) is the best gift above others. And by the way, the sexual force is the strongest energy in humanity.
Provided that this website does not aim portraying perfectionism but truthfulness, I will offer my insights, and share my situation, about the title of this blog.
I love someone, I mean in a romantic way.
But due to the fact that there are realities in this world and part of that is by having desire for intimacy towards someone and not being reciprocated, I am not currently in a relationship. And I do not have a negative response with such reality.
One, it is because I am already blessed in just expressing my appreciation towards her. Yeah, I desire her. But that does not provide her a requisite to love me back. I remember the quote of Osho,
“If you love a flower, don’t pick it up.
Because if you pick it up it dies and it ceases to be what you love.
So if you love a flower, let it be.
Love is not about possession.
Love is about appreciation.”
Yeah, she may have intimate feeling with other guy (in fact, she actually do), but that’s okay. I won’t go away and be bitter about the situation because obsessively wanting her to be mine only manifests possessiveness and greed, which love that is true does not offer.
If I truly love her, then I must respect her choices and desires, even that does not include me.
It is because relationship is not my current priority. I’m 21 years old. I have a lot of fucking time to build what I want to build for myself, for my family, and for my environment. An enormous amount of momentum to follow my curiosities and plans in the long term.
Besides, how can I go on a date if I am massively working and saving money for business and tuition of my sisters? This time we need to be practical. Many people say that you do not need money or you do not need to exert tremendous time in a relationship, and I doubt that. Whether you believe it or not, you will need to provide them in a relationship, especially your time. That’s the truth.
Well, I am not saying that you cannot pursue your priorities and long-term endeavours while being intimate with someone. It just means that I am still not ready to be fully committed in following the commitment in a committed relationship.
And if I acknowledge that I am not yet ready for commitment, then I rather not pursue it. Two reasons. One is because, she will just experience pain if we get into a relationship with me not being fully committed. And I do not want her to feel that. Second, is because no woman likes a not committed man.
I rather be ready for a commitment if I pursue a woman I admire. Otherwise, we will just bring discomfort against each other.
Humans have different perceptions, preferences, and values about love. These differences are the beauty of love. It is about understanding that what works for you might not work for others and what is truth for others might not be the same course for you.
Nonetheless, we are all just ordinary humans. Humans with heart, feelings, and emotions. We just all want to love, and be loved. I believe that love is not measured by a “label” thingy, but the level of understanding and appreciation we have to other human being.