If we could just cultivate the attitude of complete acceptance to our own flaws, imperfections, and uniqueness, then there would be no reason to feel bad about ourselves. But truth be told, it’s not that easy.
Acceptance has never been that easy.
Most often, we do the complete opposite.
We tend to bring shame against our own self.
We’re guilty because we’re not enough, because we’re unworthy, because we’re not like the others who have everything.
The reality is, we’re ashamed of who we are, of our appearance and personality.
Well, let me share first my story.
Back when I was a teenager (good old days), I was terrified of my skin tone. The classmates that I had before, the strangers who don’t even know my name, served as a proponent in making me realise that I am different. For numerous years, I had a tough time accepting myself.
I was ashamed of my physical appearance.
I was afraid of the opinions of other people about me.
I was terrified.
For those years, I was doing great in what I do, I was killing it all, in studies, in writing, you name it.
But do you know the one thing that truly dragged me down? That one thing that prevented me from living life to the fullest?
It is that I never fully accepted my own self.
From that stage of my life, here’s what I realised: We cannot be truly happy (or at peace with life) if we’re not even at peace with our own self.
And by “our own self”, I mean our appearance, our beliefs, and our values.
So I did what I had to do.
I exposed myself to the battle of judgements and opinions of other people, until it hurts no more. I did affirmations. I hustled. I worked on myself. I did and learned things the hard way.
I ate my flaws, and converted them into my strength.
I ate my weaknesses, and cultivated them as my power.
These things did not make me immune from pain, but through them, I learned to fully accept myself.
People say you have to accept things first before you can finally move on, and I totally believe that.
I think I used the wrong word to the title of this blog. Flaws refers that something is perfect and other is not, which is an illusion. We are all have our own uniqueness and those uniqueness are already perfect in its own way. Society’s standards cannot – and must not – define what is beauty and not, what is better and not.
If you’re bigger in size than others, who the fuck said that skinny is sexier?
The same way, if you are so skinny than others, who the fuck said that thick is sexier?
If you lack height than most people, tell me who the fuck said that taller is better?
We all have different preferences and you should understand that when someone is making you feel that you are not enough.
Be proud of yourself and let your uniqueness serve as light in this world full of judgements and criticism. Use them to exercise challenge against society’s norms and standards. Use them to lighten up the dimming world of people who are having a hard time accepting themselves.
Be proud of yourself.
You don’t need other people to verify nor validate your truth because the only one who can do that is you.
Stand straight and express yourself fully with pride, love, and understanding.
Remember, it all starts within you. Within your heart. Within your mind. You have to first believe yourself before others believe you.
What you think for yourself is infinitely better than what others think of you.
At the end of the day, you still have a choice,
Will you choose acceptance over ignorance?